I expected this pregnancy and our life afterwards to be "normal".... don't know why, nothing else in our lives has been normal yet, but for some odd reason, I realized today that I really been hoping, rather, expecting "normal." Normal... whatever the heck that even means.
I completely expect being tired, exhausted, confused, dirty even.... but I'm finding that I'm way more of a control freak than I realized... I think the more that I try to plan for this baby's arrival the worse I am beginning to feel about our situation.
I joke that I watch 16 and Pregnant to feel better about ourselves and our situation... hey, we have a house, 2 jobs, and health insurance (for what it's worth).... we're much better off than so and so.... However Lee did point out to me the other day that comparing ourselves to the stupid teenagers wasn't exactly raising the bar very high for us to climb.
I spent the first 4 months of this pregnancy puking.... that's right, there aren't many places in Charlotte that I didn't christen... so I figured once food stayed down things were fan-freakin'-tastic... I mean, I was eating....that was worth its weight in gold to me.
The closer it gets to Addie's arrival the more I realize that the puking part may have been the most "normal" part of this whole deal.... everyone has their opinions and God knows that everyone wants to tell you their opinions... or more, how your opinion is ridiculous compared to some book they've read or some article or some experience they've had. I'm a firm believer in learning by doing... always have been... I rarely read directions (well, at least not all the way through).... I don't like asking for help... I like to try to figure it out on my own. But this whole baby thing is gonna be a whole other beast...you think of "normal" Cleaver-esque type of existance... dad works 9-5, mom takes care of baby, house is spotless.... Whatever! I suppose it will all work itself out and things will just fall into place, it's just difficult to try to think now how it will all look when it does.
For us, "normal" will be me working 7-4, Lee working 1-11 (or 12 or 1 or 2...) Addie chillin' in daycare for the afternoons (which may be the most "normal" part of it all)... oh, and throw 3 dogs into the mix. I have not a clue how a single parent does it... I haven't even figured out how we are going to get the grass mowed with only 1 of us being home at the same time with Addie... I mean, even I realize that you can't exactly strap baby on in the baby carrier and go about mowing the grass!
I don't know, at this point I think I'm just a huge pregnant, emotional, and slightly swelling preggo who is realizing more and more that this is gonna be one heck of a ride for the next 18 years!
4 comments:
oh, Crystal do I ever get what you are saying...still waitin on normal to arrive here!
There is no such thing as normal when it comes to raising kids. You have to do what works for your family. Addison is very lucky to you have you and Lee as her parents and you guys are going to do a great job. If at anytime when Lee is at work, if you're feeling overwhelmed or need a break don't hesitate to call me. Lauren would love to have a playdate with Addison :)
Crys-Crys,
It is totally "normal" to feel that way. You and Lee are going to make amazing parents! Hang in there!
If it helps, it made me so "happy" (not sure what the right word is) to know that someone else threw up daily for the first four months. The best part of parenting is all the NOT NORMAL stuff that happens, and just when you think you're about to lose it, you find out one of your friends (or ALL of your friends) are going through the same things. Get ready to laugh, cry, and above it all, feel SO blessed. Parenthood is probably the best experience of my life.
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