25 Rules for Mothers and Daughters...

25 Rules for Mothers of Daughters

 

25 Rules for Mothers of Daughters

1. Paint her nails. Then let her scratch it off and dirty them up. Teach her to care about her appearance, and then quickly remind her that living and having fun is most important.


2. Let her put on your makeup, even if it means bright-red-smudged lips and streaked-blue eyes. Let her experiment in her attempts to be like you…then let her be herself. 


3. Let her be wild. She may want to stay home and read books on the couch, or she may want to hop on the back of a motorcycle-gasp. She may be a homebody or a traveler. She may fall in love with the wrong boy, or meet mr. right at age 5. Try to remember that you were her age once. Everyone makes mistakes, let her make her own. 


4. Be present. Be there for her at her Kindergarten performances, her dance recitals, her soccer games…her everyday-little-moments. When she looks through the crowds of people, she will be looking for your smile and pride. Show it to her as often as possible.


5. Encourage her to try on your shoes and play dress-up. If she would rather wear her brother’s superman cape with high heals, allow it. If she wants to wear a tutu or dinosaur costume to the grocery store, why stop her? She needs to decide who she is and be confident in her decision.


6. Teach her to be independent. Show her by example that women can be strong. Find and follow your own passions. Search for outlets of expression and enjoyment for yourself- not just your husband or children. Define yourself by your own attributes, not by what others expect you to be. Know who you are as a person, and help your daughter find out who she is.


7. Pick flowers with her. Put them in her hair. There is nothing more beautiful than a girl and a flower.


8. Let her get messy. Get messy with her, no matter how much it makes you cringe inside. Splash in the puddles, throw snowballs, make mud pies, finger paint the walls: just let it happen. The most wonderful of memories are often the messy ones. 


9. Give her good role models- you being one of them. Introduce her to successful woman- friends, co-workers, doctors, astronauts, or authors. Read to her about influential woman- Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Marie Curie. Read her the words of inspirational woman- Jane Austen, Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson. She should know that anything is possible. 


10. Show her affection. Daughters will mimic the compassion of their mother. “I love yous” and Eskimo kisses go a long way.


11. Hold her hand. Whether she is 3 years-old in the parking lot or sixteen years old in the mall, hold on to her always- this will teach her to be confident in herself and proud of her family. 


12. Believe in her. It is the moments that she does not believe in herself that she will need you to believe enough for both of you. Whether it is a spelling test in the first grade, a big game or recital, a first date, or the first day of college…remind her of the independent and capable woman you have taught her to be.


13. Tell her how beautiful she is. Whether it is her first day of Kindergarten, immediately after a soccer game where she is grass-stained and sweaty, or her wedding day. She needs your reminders. She needs your pride. She needs your reassurance. She is only human.


14. Love her father. Teach her to love a good man, like him. One who lets her be herself…she is after all wonderful.


15. Make forts with boxes and blankets. Help her to find magic in the ordinary, to imagine, to create and to believe in fairy tales. Someday she will make her 5 by 5 dorm-room her home with magic touches and inspiration. And she will fall in love with a boy and believe him to be Prince Charming. 


16. Read to her. Read her Dr. Seuss and Eric Carle. But also remember the power of Sylvia Plath and Robert Frost. Show her the beauty of words on a page and let her see you enjoy them. Words can be simply written and simply spoken, yet can harvest so much meaning. Help her to find their meaning. 


17. Teach her how to love- with passion and kisses. Love her passionately. Love her father passionately and her siblings passionately. Express your love. Show her how to love with no restraint. Let her get her heart broken and try again. Let her cry, and gush, giggle and scream. She will love like you love or hate like you hate. So, choose love for both you and her. 


18. Encourage her to dance and sing. Dance and sing with her- even if it sounds or looks horrible. Let her wiggle to nursery rhymes. Let her dance on her daddy's feet and spin in your arms. Then later, let her blast noise and headbang in her bedroom with her door shut if she wants. Or karaoke to Tom Petty in the living room if she would rather. Introduce her to the classics- like The Beatles- and listen to her latest favorite- like Taylor Swift. Share the magic of music together, it will bring you closer- or at least create a soundtrack to your life together.


19. Share secrets together. Communicate. Talk. Talk about anything. Let her tell you about boys, friends, school. Listen. Ask questions. Share dreams, hopes, concerns. She is not only your daughter, you are not only her mother. Be her friend too. 


20. Teach her manners. Because sometimes you have to be her mother, not just her friend. The world is a happier place when made up of polite words and smiles. 


21. Teach her when to stand-up and when to walk away. Whether she has classmates who tease her because of her glasses, or a boyfriend who tells her she is too fat- let her know she does not have to listen. Make sure she knows how to demand respect- she is worthy of it. It does not mean she has to fight back with fists or words, because sometimes you say more with silence. Also make sure she knows which battles are worth fighting. Remind her that some people can be mean and nasty because of jealousy, or other personal reasons. Help her to understand when to shut her mouth and walk-away. Teach her to be the bigger -the better- person. 


22. Let her choose who she loves. Even when you see through the charming boy she thinks he is, let her love him without your disapproving words: she will anyway. When he breaks her heart, be there for her with words of support rather than I told-you-so. Let her mess up again and again until she finds the one. And when she finds the one, tell her. 


23. Mother her. Being a mother—to her—is undoubtedly one of your greatest accomplishments. Share with her the joys of motherhood, so one day she will want to be a mother too. Remind her over and over again with words and kisses that no one will ever love her like you love her. No one can replace or replicate a mother’s love for their children. 


24. Comfort her. Because sometimes you just need your mommy. When she is sick, rub her back, make her soup and cover her in blankets- no matter how old she is. Someday, if she is giving birth to her own child, push her hair out of her face, encourage her, and tell her how beautiful she is. These are the moments she will remember you for. And someday when her husband rubs her back in attempt to comfort her...she may just whisper, "I need my mommy."


25. Be home. When she is sick with a cold or broken heart, she will come to you: welcome her. When she is engaged or pregnant, she will run to you to share her news: embrace her. When she is lost or confused, she will search for you: find her. When she needs advice on boys, schools, friends or an outfit: tell her. She is your daughter and will always need a safe harbor- where she can turn a key to see comforting eyes and a familiar smile: be home

If I Could Give New Dads Some Advice... this would be it:

I know I know, I'm not dead - just haven't blogged in almost 6 months.  But for my bi-annual blog post, I thought I would share my response to a guy friend who's wife recently had a baby and was struggling with how to help her.

Here are my thoughts - uncensored - the way I like them.


I'll be honest with you - as a guy you will really have no idea what it feels like for a mom. However in the Baz Lightman's (you know the Wear Sunscreen song guy) - "if I could tell you some things to keep in mind-"

Your wife is going to be crazy - she will feel completely out of control and hate it - but she really can't do anything about it. She hates this range of emotions and the fact that they are unexpected and unexplainable more than you do... though that will be hard to imagine.

She needs to hear the obvious from you daily if not multiple times a day (I love you, this is normal, it's not going to be like this forever)

She needs to take time for herself - you will need to force her to do this - and help her not to feel guilty for being away from you and the baby

On the subject of guilt - she is going to feel guilty... about everything, even things that she can't explain why. This will get much worse once she goes back to worse - simple things like going to the grocery store on the way home will induce almost panic-like symptoms. It's fine, she just again needs continual encouragement from you that 1) the baby is fine (that's why you picked a good daycare) 2) you don't disapprove of nor look down on her taking time to herself or do household errands

Women are bitches - they are horrible at making you feel less than a good mom - whether it is baking or daycare or working or whatever, women constantly compete and will drive your wife crazy if she lets it. Try to encourage her to remember who she was before the baby and that she is still there. For me, returning to work actually helped - it was nice to have a purpose other than feeding and caring for a child/husband/house/dogs.

You can help her with little things to make her experience at work a bit better - set your phone to text her at different times in the day - just a simple Love you and I'm proud of you - you're a good mom, etc

Surprise her with a calendar of picture for her office - shutterfly is awesome at this - I found that having that in my office helped me to feel connected to my family and was nice since I look at the date no less than 20 times a day (as if the date somehow changes mid-day or something)

Tolerate her idiosyncrasies - I have heard of moms literally taking multiple days before successfully leaving her baby at daycare. Try to understand and realize that at the end of the day - all of this flows from a few basic things:

She wants to be a good mom (but doesn't "feel" it)
She wants to feel like you are proud of her and the job she is doing now as a mom
She wants to know that you still think she is sexy - even when she is in a spit-up laden teeshirt and doesn't feel it
She wants to know that you don't resent the baby even if you feel like your needs aren't being met
She wants to know that she can be a working mom but is terrified that she isn't doing it right or that people think she is selfish for working and not staying home like "good moms"


Lastly - realize that even though sex has resumed it probably will be nothing like before and just wait it out - it will get better around the 1 year mark.

  The first year of having baby was ridiculous for me. I felt crazy - literally crazy. I was angry half of the time and sad the other half. I constantly felt like I was out of control and that freaked me out and made me feel stuck in some kind of horrible Groundhog Day. The best things that happened for me were simple - and almost all came from Lee.

The only other suggestion other than using therapy techniques (I seriously pulled from my deep breathing techniques, self talk, and such that I used to teach to counseling clients) is to find funny "mom" books. She won't want to admit aloud to others how she is feeling more than likely but I found that reading about how I wasn't alone or how others had it way worse than me helped a ton - and helped me to talk to Lee about what and how I was feeling.

I would suggest: http://www.amazon.com/Sucked-Then-Cried-Breakdown-Margarita/dp/B004J8HXA4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1326941633&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Sippy-Cups-Are-Not-Chardonnay/dp/1416915060/ref=pd_sim_b_1

http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Laughs-Naked-Truth-Mommyhood/dp/0452287197/ref=pd_sim_b_5

Lastly - check out this blog - it puts how I feel about toddlerhood in complete perspective.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html

So carpe the heck out of the Kairos moments and leave the diem to the crazy moms who haven't figured out that they can't do everything and stay sane yet.

Remember, and Never Forget

I posted this Sept 11 2009, a few weeks before we found out that I was preggers with Addie-cat.  It still holds true today...

Taken 9/11/02 From the Times of London by Tony Parsons:

"ONE year ago, the world witnessed a unique kind of broadcasting- the mass murder of thousands, live on televesion. As a lesson in the pitiless cruelty of the human race, September 11 was up there with Pol Pot's mountain of skulls in Cambodia, or the skeletal bodies stacked like garbage in the Nazi concentration camps.

An unspeakable act so cruel, so calculated and so utterly merciless that surely the world could agree on one thing - no one deserves this fate. Surely there could be consensus: the victims were truly innocent and the perpetrators truly evil.

But to the world's eternal shame, 9/11 is increasingly seen as America's comeuppance. Incredibly, anti-Americanism has increased over the last year. There has always been a simmering resentment to the USA in this country - too loud, too rich, too full of themselves and so much happier than Europeans - but it has become an epidemic. And it seems incredible to me. More than that, it turns my stomach.
America is this country's greatest friend and our staunchest ally. We are bonded to the US by culture, language, and blood. A little over half of a century ago, around half a million Americans died for our freedoms, as well as their own. How have we forgotten so soon? And, exactly a year ago, thousands of ordinary men, women, and children - not just Americans, but from dozens of countries - were butchered by a small group of religious fanatics. How are we so quick to betray them?

What touched the heart about those who died in the Twin Towers and on the planes was that we recognized them. Young fathers and mothers, somebody's son and daughter, husband and wife. And children, some of them unborn. And these people brought it upon themselves? And their nation is to blame for their meticulously planned slaughter? How?

These days you don't have to be some dust-encrusted nut job in Kabul or Karachi or Finsbury Park to see America as the "Great Satan." The anti-American alliance is made up of self-loathing liberals who blame the Americans for every ill in the 3rd World, and conservatives suffering from power-envy, bitter that the world's only superpower can do what it likes without having to ask permission.

The truth is that America has behaved with ENORMOUS restraint since September 11, 2001.

Remeber the gut-wrenching tapes of weeping men phoning their wives to say, "I love you" before they were burned alive. Remember those people leaping to their deaths from the top of burning skyscrapers.

Remember the hundreds of firemen buried alive. Remember the smiling face of that beautiful little girl who was on one of the planes with her mum.

Remember, and realize, that America has never retaliated for 9/11 in anything like they way they could have.

So a few al-Quaeda tourists got locked without a trial in Camp X-Ray? Please do pass the Kleenex.

So some Afghan wedding receptions were shot up after they merrily fired their semi-automatics into a sky full of American planes? A shame, but perhaps next time they should stick to confetti.

AMERICA could have turned a large chunk of the world into a PARKING LOT. That it didn't is in of itself, a sign of its great strength.

American voices are already being raised against attacking Iraq. That's what democracy is for. How many in the Islamic world will have a minute's silence fo the slaughtered innocents of 9/11? How many Islamic leaders will have the guts to say that the mass murder of 9/11 was an abhorant abomination?

When the news of 9/11 broke on the West Bank, those freedom loving Palestinans were dancing in the streets! America watched all of that - and never pushed the button. We should all thank the stars that America is the most powerful nation in the world. I still find it absolutely incredible that 9/11 di not provoke all out war. No, not a "war on terrorism" but all out war. A real war.

The fundamentalists dudes are talking about "opening the gates of hell," if America attacks Iraq. Well, America could have opened up the gates of hell that you would have never had believed.

The US is the most militarily powerful nation that has ever strode the face of this earth.

The campaign in Afghanistan may have been less than perfect and the planned war in Iraq may be misconceived.

But don't blame America for not bringing peace and light to those wretched countries. Exactly how many democracies are there in the Middle East ore in the Muslim world? You can count them all on the fingers of one hand - assuming that you haven't had any chopped off for minor shoplifting offenses.

I love America, yet America is hated. I gues that makes me Bush's poodle. But, I would rather be a dog in New York City than a Prince in Riyadh. Above all, America is hated because it is what every country wants to be - rich, strong, free, open, and optimistic.

Not ground down by the past, or religion, or some caste system. America is the best friend that this country ever had and we as a British people should start remembering that a bit more often.

Or do you REALLY think that the USA is the root of ALL evil? Tell it to the lvoed ones of the men and the women who leaped to their death from the burning towers.

Tell it to the nursing mothers whose husbands died on one of the hijacked planes, or were ripped apart in a collapsing skyscraper.

And tell it to the hundreds of young widows whose husbands worked for the New York Fire Department. To our shame, President Bush gets worse press than Saddam Hussein.

Once were were told that Saddam gassed the Kurds, tortured his own peopel, and set up rape camps in Kuwait. Now were are told that he likes Quality Street.

Remember, Remember, Please REMEMBER, September 11. One of the greatest atrocities in human history was committed that day against America.

No, please, hear me, PLEASE, do more than remember....

Never forget."

15 Months and Counting

Yesterday Addie was 15 months old - I don't have all of the stats just yet but for those interested she now:

Weighs around 23.6 pounds (she loves standing on the scale and watching it light up with numbers)... that will change my dear girl!

Stands around 2.5 feet tall

Loves - Elmo, going outside, and Pooh Bear (if you say any of those words she freaks out if you don't produce them in rapid fashion), climbing into the fridge and sitting on the bottom shelf, baths or water sprinklers, slides and climbing toys, watching TV on Daddy's lap, carrying purses around the house, playing on a computer keyboard

Says with Recognition (pointing) - Elmo, Pooh, puppy, Mama, Dada, ZsaZsa (PaPaw's dog who recently passed away), MaMaw, PaPaw, Poppy, Gigi, Andie, Monkey, Pizza (her current favorite), More, Up, Down, No, Outside, Bee

Says without Recognizing always - Cracker, Duckie, Paige (Pay), Done

She's growin' up pretty quickly and entering the "fun" phase - we took her to the water splashpark this past weekend and she was braver than some of the older kids running through the sprays.

I got your crazy

I posted a blog similar to this one back when I was 8 months preggers here and I must confess, I really thought that would be the end of the "crazy."  Or so I thought.  Addie-cat is gonna be 15 months next week... and me, well, I still have a few, some, ok, more than my fair share of "crazy" moments still.

Truth be told, I hate it.  Absolutely hate how I feel out of control sometimes.  How I have the patience of a toddler in the midst of their terrible 2's some days.  How I can get worked up and actually angry over something as simple as a decision my poor husband made that he thought would make me happy but obviously didn't.

I blamed it on the hormones for a long time.  Probably longer than I should have.  In all reality it probably is a combination of a few things - some lingering hormone imbalances, a lot more stress in my life, a ton more responsibility in my life, and less sleep than I'd rather.

But it doesn't really matter.  God's pretty clear on this one - "Be thankful in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thes 5:18)

Thankful when I come home to a pile of dirty clothes, dishes, and dog hair everywhere....yeah, not so much.
Thankful when Addie reaches out to pat my hair with hands full of spaghetti sauce...cute, but thankful?
Thankful when bills outnumber the advertisements in my mailbox.... uhm....

So I started looking online - not sure what I was looking for, but I came across 30 Day Challenge to Wives   Being one that can't resist a challenge I'm going to try to do it - Maybe I'll conquer my "crazy" moments once and for all and return to nice, happy, calm, fun-loving, energetic, thoughtful Crystal of  old.... gosh, looking at that list, I sure thought well of myself back then ;-)

"Call me crazy?  I gots your crazy!"

just hopefully not for long

M.I.A.

Monday afternoon began like every other afternoon - headed home from work, hung out with Addie, and even got to see Lee since he was off.  Started to cook dinner, had an ADHD moment and forgot half of the ingredients that I needed for dinner. Sent Lee to the store and heard him drive up in the driveway.  Mustered up the courage to let him know that I had also forgotten 2 other things that we needed and that he was going to have to return to the store.  Listened to Lee laugh at me for forgetting things and remind me to speak now or forever hold my piece because he was NOT going back to the store a 3rd time.

And then, it happened. Right there on my cutting board.  Amidst the lettuce, cilantro, and onions I was patiently dicing for taco night.  The tip of my left thumb went MIA.  Well, not MIA actually.  Just missing from hand.  I knew where it was, could see it laying there on my knife.  Just no longer attached to my finger. So i guess MFF would be more appropriate.

I'm gonna miss that tip, she was a good one.

A Poor Idea...

I was reading online this morning and heard mention in a few comments of  something ridiculous happening in DC (other than Congress, budgets, and debt talks).  I searched for awhile and found this article over here.

Wow.  That's about all I have to say on that.  Wonder how those poor firefighters think about the city putting them into a firefight of a whole other kind?  Wonder how the police officers feel about the city basically saying that they are not doing a good enough job and can be replaced by big shiny fire trucks who, if they should see something, will simply call the police.

How is that different than a city-paid neighborhood watch program?  Bet if they kept the firefighters actually fighting fire and not sitting in trucks watching for crime, they might be able to afford more cadets to go through the academy to actually do some police work!

My guess is that it will last until some hoodlum either pranks the fire trucks, or ends up injuring a fire fighter... then the community will make some noise about the ridiculousness of this.  Everyone seems to like fire fighters.... so do I , I just happen to like them fighting fires and taking care of accidents with medic... not patrolling the streets with fire extinguishers.

Just like I love my police officers, patrolling the streets with more than a water gun.

Married to the Badge

Lee's been a police officer for more than 3 years now so I have to say that there are few times now that I actually sit back and think about life as a police wife being different.  It's the new "normal" so I forget at times that it is so different than what a lot of my friend's lives are like.

For the most part, regardless of job, most of them physically see their spouses on a daily basis.  And awake too!  Their phones ring with an unknown number and their first thought is annoyance at a sales call, not anxiety that something has gone wrong.  They are usually able to answer the question, "so, what does your husband do?" without having to pause and wait for 1) a barrage of complaints of the person's last interaction with a police officer, 2) a story about the person's friend's encounter with a police officer, or 3) a look of pity and comments either berating the police, or how horrible it must be to be saddled with one.  Sure, sleep is hard to come by, there are some long and lonely nights, and hearing your husband's profession constantly mocked and dragged through the mud is no fun.  And then, there are some odd things about being married to a cop - places you just "can't" go, difficulty being in crowds, learning to live with an always on edge/high alert husband...

Yep, those are most of the things that people think about or talk about when the topic of being married to a cop comes up.  Mostly negative, not a whole lot of hope, and a lot of awkward conversations (as if I don't have enough ease pouncing right into awkwardness already!)

But today I wanted to bring up of the positives.  Call it false hope, ignorance is bliss, or what have you, there are actually a lot of positives about being married to a cop:

- Random days off in the middle of the week - he may not be home for Saturday nights but he can hit up a movie with you on a Tuesday afternoon at matinee prices

- More time with his kids - Lee gets to see Addie 3 or 4 hours every morning and often gets full days off to spend with her - not many high powered execs in their glass walls can say that

- Who wouldn't want to know the current or projected status of every single license plate that passes you while you drive in the car?  "That tag's expired, that one is past it's 30 days, that one doesn't look right..."

- Pride - every cop I pass makes me think of my husband, I feel so proud of him and the job these guys and gals do everyday.  Plus, there are few things hotter than getting to see your man come home each night in full uniform.

- Husband is off in the mornings so he can pull food out of the freezer, finish the laundry, and grab last minute things at the store that you forgot to do before leaving for work (when you're as ADD as I am, this is quite convenient!)

- Their instinctual reach for the blue lights when they see someone driving crazily is kinda funny as you're driving along in your personal truck on your way to church

- It's slightly amusing when you joke with them that you're gonna punch them if they don't stop "x", and without missing a beat they reply with all of the citations and misdemeanors you could be charged with

- Lastly, there is the old adage - I can feel safe at night cause I sleep with a cop :-)

Another Try

I've been "dark" from the blogging world for quite some time now. Not that I haven't been checking up on my favorite bloggers, or paying attention to twitter and facebook feeds. I've just been trying to rethink and focus this blog.

I know, this ADHD-er just said "focus" HA! Anyways, from here on out I will be making some changes and updates to the blog. At the suggestion of some friends I'll be adding some cooking info, some couponing stuff (yes Shara, I may even include a groupon link or two ;-) ). Lastly, I plan to start to incorporate some of my current life point of view as a police wife. Lee suggested it earlier in the year as a cathartic way to help make police life more approachable to other gals and apparently it took me more than 6 months to decide that was a pretty good idea!

Lee's been really busy at work lately and had a part in a high-profile call here in Charlotte last Friday.

More on that later in the week.

Almost a year later...

AI've put off writing this post for quite some time, mainly because I wasn't really sure what to say.

People ask you a lot of questions when you are pregnant/a mother. Lots of the time I just make stuff up to say - half of the time saying something off the wall to be a smart alec and to point out the inappropriateness of asking such personal/random questions of people. (spoiler alert), yes, that means that no, I really am not waiting for Addie to clean my entire house, nor do I expect her to actually speak her mind to tell me what she wants -it's just way easier to say than the obvious - yes, I am aware my house is a wreck and the floor needs to be dusted/vacuumed/mopped - and if I knew why my daughter was crying don't you think I would be doing what she needed to stop it?

Seriously, people ask the most random of questions. But I really didn't have much of an answer to these so I just dodged them - how did it feel for you to have your daughter in the NICU for a week? What was it like for you to go home without your baby? Aren't you worried about her having more seizures or having lasting damage from them? and the most recent - Have you been thinking a lot about where you were at this time last year now that Addie is about to be 1 years old? To be blunt, I try not to talk too much about that week for a plethora of reasons. 1) I feel badly talking about it because so many others parent's stories are way worse than mine and ended up badly... I got my baby and she seems fine - so I feel guilty about talking about it. 2) Speaking of guilt, I feel a lot of that - whether or not I really could have done anything about it, the fact remains that I feel guilty - for being stubborn about a C-section, for not switching doctors at the beginning, for not saying something to the nurses sooner or not demanding they watch her more... for a lot of reasons really. It was so weird today - one of our friends had a baby at the same hospital that we had Addie. Addie and I went up to see them and it was surreal. They had Andrea, the same baby nurse that Addie had. The whole time there felt so odd - the drive there was familiar - we drove it more than 20 times in a week. Everything seemed the same, like time had stood still - yet things were drastically different. I wanted to take her to the NICU to see Ms. Donna - to remind her how much her work means to people.

11 months and 2 weeks ago was one of the best days of my life - regardless of how it happened, we go to meet our little girl and I thought that the "hard part" was over. Not that that I thought parenting would be easy, but that since her birth was so difficult, the "drama" was over and we could go home and just be happy together. Flash forward to day 2 of my life when within the period of 30 min we went from putting our new baby into her car seat to go home, to watching her be whisked away by a team of physicians going to perform a myriad of tests on her and we could just " go grab lunch or take a walk..." Right. It felt like a never-ending sucker punch to the gut. Honestly I didn't talk a lot about it because I didn't have the words to say - everything I could think of seemed undeserving of the situation. It was surreal and odd and unnatural to go home and sleep at home for longer than I did when I was at work. I came home the first night and closed her door and didn't' reopen it until we came home later that week, baby in tow.

I've been thinking about exactly "how I feel" about Addie turning one. I was telling Lee the other day that I think the appropriate word is oddly "relieved." Most blogs of moms that I read say "scared" or "sad I'm losing my baby" or something to that aspect. I say relieved because I think that this next year will be the start of something new. Because of the seizures and because of the drama of her birth, Addie was left with 2 spots on her brain that are dead - and no one knew what ramifications (if any) they would carry. I feel like I haven't really breathed in the past year - every twitch, every odd cry, every milestone, I feel like I've watched every move she's made and checked off an imaginary checklist. Sit - check. Crawl - check. Words - check. Steps - check. And finally walk - check. I finally feel like we can be normal and not be hypersensitive about her development. I heard the doctors last summer when they said that we didn't have to worry- but at that point I was over pretty much anything the doctors had to say looking at their track record.

So relieved that this past year is almost over. It's been a great one. I really never knew that I could be so happy and that I'd actually be ok with and almost enjoy having to get up early on a Saturday. There is nothing like rolling out of bed and walking into her room to see her smiling face pop up over the crib railing. These next few years will probably be my favorite until she is in high school - and I couldn't be more excited to live life with my little girl, hubby, and pups.

Some women say they are born to be mothers, others say you learn as you go. Me, I was thrown into the deep end - but I've learned that I can swim.

11 Months

It was slightly strange to realize that this will be the last "month" celebration of significance... next up 1 year old! Holy. cow. ... Ok, past that, we officially have a toddler on our hands - Addie started to toddle around somewhere around 10-10.5 months... and started taking steps somewhere after that.

However, her preferred method of transportation remained crawling... until Thursday. 12 consecutive steps later, she know prefers to crawl to something, pull up, and then walk until she falls again. She's getting pretty good at it too.

Her favorite things to crawl to are...the puppies obviously. (what, did you think I would say Lee or I? ha!) no such luck, Addie waaay prefers the pooches to either of us.

In other news, she's learning to use a spoon - I use that term loosely. Mainly I mean her stubborn streak is apparently here to stay and she refuses to allow us to feed her... but it takes about 2 times the amount of food with her "feeding herself". Oh well, what extra we spend on her food we are making up by less to have to feed the dogs.

She's around 30.5 inches and 23 pounds. Stats to come for the grandparents after she turns ONE YEAR.

In and Out

No, I'm not about to quote Kevin Kline's 90's movie "In and Out" . Today marks Addie being "out" in the world a few hours longer than she was "in" me. It is crazy ridiculous to believe that she has been on the outside longer than the time it took her to "bake."

It has been the craziest 9.5 months... I didn't know that I could be so tired, happy, and terrified at the same time. We have been so blessed by a generally happy and social baby and can't imagine life without her at this point! The past 9 months have completely put our lives in a 180 degree turn - it is almost funny to think of what I did before I had her in my "spare time."

In other news, she had her first case of pink eye last week, cut 2 teeth, and has learned to blow kisses back to you. She has got a stubborn streak like no other too - no idea where that could possibly come from. She is proving to be a charmer though, she has already learned that if she caught doing something she is not supposed to - she will crack a smile or blow a kiss to see if that will change your unpleased facial expression. ha! We are in for it!

9.25 months old

Apparently I am only going to be updating at month milestones, or at least that's been the pattern thus far. As much as I wanted to be "that mommy blogger" that we all read, I'm ok with sporadic updates on here so cherish this for what it's worth! Ha!

Addie is now 9 months 1 week old and it has been quite a ride since my last post. At almost 8 months to the day she began to crawl, and then within that week began to pull herself up to standing. By the end of the month she was completely pulling up and holding herself up on everything...crawling still has an appeal and she is pretty good at it - but standing is apparently where it is at! Then, at just over 9 months, she started to stand on her own and can now walk behind pretty much anything. Of course she likes to walk behind her walkers and stuff, but she works with what she has and has been spotted pushing her highchair, bumpo seat, and even the dog's toy basket around the kitchen.

She continues to be social and smiles and sometimes waves. Her current favorite food is Gigi's baked ziti which is where one of these pictures came from :-) She is her daddy's daughter and pulls her shoes and socks off at a moment's notice.

Now for the important stats:

21.3 lbs (75 - 90 %tile)
29.5 inches (95%tile)
44 cm head circumference (50%tile)

7 Months

Well I have been struggling with the whole blogging thing (if anyone even reads this thing any more). I remember watching my friends who were pregnant and then had their babies. They blogged the whole way through it and I remember loving to read their updates and trying to make mental notes of things that I wanted to do once I had a baby of my own. Namely, monthly updates, funny anecdotes, you know... the stuff people actually care to read.

Flash forward to 2011. Addison is 7 months old... the last blog post I wrote was when she was 7.5 weeks old... I barely have any video of her (although Lee likes to say that my facebook is "littered" with Addie pictures).

I have had many a blog post in my head.... some even witty I might add. But somewhere in the shuffle I kept not posting... and then it was too late... who posts a 6 month update 3 weeks afterward?

I started to feel really guilty... I'm not really a "cute" scrapbooker - I did do Addison's first scrapbook with her birth, NICU, and her first week at home... but it all stopped there (as evidenced by the massive pile of "keepsakes" that are on my ever growing scrapbook pile!)

I'm not one for New Year resolutions... mainly because my ADHD self hardly ever keeps to them after the first day or so... what can I say? But if I've learned anything since becoming a parent - it's to try to chill out and just enjoy life.

I can say that though I feel guilty because I didn't blog like I set out to - but I did spend the last 7 months thoroughly enjoying Addison and our new life together.

I've loved watching Lee become a Dad and how enthralled he is with Addison.

I love walking into her room on weekend mornings and seeing her smile when she sees me and kick her feet.

I love taking time to do things with Addie - go shopping, cook, roll around on the floor with her.

I can see all of the blog posts that were "meant to be" in my head anyways... and have countless amounts of pictures to catalog the first 7 months anyway.

So suffice it to say that I am probably going to continue to choose to spend my free time with Addie - and not feel guilty for not blogging or doing more of the things that "the good moms" do. I'm not a real fru-fru/granola-y type anyways :-)

But I would be remiss if I didn't post some info about our baby girl...

7 Months:
28.5 inches
19.2 lbs
still has a little "peanut" head

learned to hold her own bottle around 6 months
eats pretty much anything but especially likes black beans, peas, prunes, bananas, avacado, teething biscuits, alphabet crackers, and baby cheese doodles.
can almost pull herself up to standing from the floor
can pull herself up to standing when sitting on a toy
sat up 3 days before 6 months
tries really hard to feed herself but is doing more to bond with the puppies than gain any sustenance

sleeps from 730/8pm until 8am
takes 1-2 naps a day

laughs, giggles, plays peekaboo, likes to be tickled, and loves her jumperoo still, loves the puppies and smiles and laughs when they walk by; coos and babbles when she is excited, bored, or happy

3 Months Old!

A day in the life of Addison:

Mornings are tough! Gotta yawn really big, poop really smelly, and wiggle while Mom and Dad change me... Then I'm ready to start my day... I take this part from Daddy... no way Mommy could ever smile this much in the AM hours!


Tummy Time... I can hold my head up for about 5 seconds but I'm still not a huge fan of tummy time after the first 10 minutes or so I start to cry.

But looking at myself in the mirror helps alot...


I feel pretty, oh so pretty....
That's a whole lot of work.... then it's time for a bottle and a nap!

I post all of my pics to facebook, primarily because it's easier and can upload an entire file, however, for Caleb and Adrienne and my mom, here are a few pics on the blog too :-)

Daddy Can Shave Now!!

Wow.... it has been a week since I last posted! I feel like it has been an entire lifetime since then! Long story made short, Addie started to have seizure activity after being born and the doctors admitted her to the NICU at Presbyterian once they discovered this.... about 5 minutes before we were set to be discharged on Memorial Day.

It's been a crazy week - poor little girl has had a series of tests (CT, MRI, MRA, MRB, Echo, EEG, EKG, Bilirubin... the works) to figure out what was going on. Long story made really short, her labor was really long and really hard and it caused her brain to be deprived of oxygen causing some spots in her brain to be damaged (seen on the MRIs). It was not picked up on immediately because her APGARs were great and she was acting developmentally appropriate. After a week in the NICU and one large dose of phenobarbitol, Addie is seizure free and seems to be developing perfectly fine. She is even attempting to lift up her little head at 5 days old!

While she was in the NICU, Lee decided that he was not going to shave until he could bring his little girl home. Well he stayed with a beard for the first 5 days but had to shave most of it off on Friday because he thought he was going to have to go back to work for a week (so he didn't use his last week of vacation going to visit at the NICU which he could do before and after work). He shaved to a mustache which he is allowed to have at work... only to walk in to find out our little girl was getting out of jail! :-) (no really, the Presby NICU nurses are and were awesome to us and treated Addison (they called her the "big NICU baby" lol) just like she was one of their own).

Saturday was a big day for us... we got to go to the NICU and sign out our little girl! We got her home, she ate (she's eating 5 oz at a time almost and sleeping for 4 hours a stretch praise God), pooped, and then went to sleep.... it was so weird to have her in the house but it was awesome!

The puppies are adjusting well to having her around. I am sorely disappointed in Paige who has all but ignored Addie. She's wagged her tail, licked her once, and otherwise seemed completely apathetic. Brutus has yet to determine how he feels. He is the most interested in Addison's movements... but goes back and forth between licking her and waggin' his tail and barking in her general direction. Andie has done the best... for all of the people who were "concerned" that we were going to keep our Rottie... she thinks she is Addison's mom or something... she follows us around and lays at our feet wherever Addie is. She is not a fan of Addison crying and seems to get upset that we are not "fixing" things quickly enough!

Throughout this entire week we have just been reminded of how great our God is. My friend Lauren sent me this JJ Heller song that pretty much sums it up: "When my world is shaking, Heaven stands; When my heart is breaking, I never leave Your hands."

We are so blessed to have such fantastic family and friends. Everyone has been so supportive of us through the difficult labor and then the week in the NICU. Big shout out to Jason and Alesha for staying at our house and putting up with the puppies :-)

Addison Riley Saunders

Welcome to the world Addison Riley Saunders! 8 lbs 9oz, born at 8:51am, May 29, 2010 was a big day for our little girl: not just Caleb and Adrienne's 6th wedding anniversary, but also Lee's Sgt Tellis' birthday, and the day that Rebekah Goode swore Addie would be born on.

More pics and info to come!

Baby Watch 2010...

Wanted...One Baby to Fill this Nursery:








Well, the nursery is done, the bags are pretty much packed, I even vacuumed and steam cleaned! All that's left is the baby! So far no word on when she's going to decide to come out and meet us...Lee keeps thinking she will come May 25 or 26... who knows though, if she's anything like her parents she'll be stubborn and make us wait! :-)

Until then Lee will keep going to protect the Queen City one hoodlum at a time and I'll keep working at Holt until Addie drops out!

Adrienne and Caleb- it was so great to get to talk to you guys on Friday!! Lee says that you can see this blog so I uploaded the pics here... there will be more on facebook, it just takes forever to post a pic to blogger :-) Love you guys!

Everyone else - fret not, either the blog or facebook will be updated when we go to the hospital to meet Addison....not everyone will get a call from us but anyone in our various family and friendship circles will be communicated with (hopefully)!

Catch you on the flip side!